


Mu

by AnotherLostSoul



Series: With or Without you [2]
Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Afterlife, Angst, But he can't help being a bit sassy, Guilt, Judgement, L is doing his best to help save him, Light is an arrogant Son of a bitch, M/M, MU, Mental Anguish, Poor L, Poor Light
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-09-01 12:30:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16765195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnotherLostSoul/pseuds/AnotherLostSoul
Summary: L takes Light to the Shinigami realm to pick up an important book, but after Light's arrogance gets the better of him L decides some shock tactics are in order. He takes Light to Mu to visit Kiyomi Takada, and see first hand what fate may await him...





	Mu

**Author's Note:**

> I love writing, and I hope the people who are reading this enjoy it. If you do and would like me to continue, then please leave a comment- too many readers of fanfiction just read and offer no feedback- support the community of writers and GIVE FEEDBACK to them! Thank you (PSA DONE)  
> ~ALS~

His scream was trapped in his throat as he fell. He couldn't move as he plummeted to the ground, his arms remained locked at his sides despite his overwhelming urge to flay them around wildly in panic.

The ground was rushing up to meet him and Light braced himself for impact. Was he dead? Or was he about to taste death for the first time? Nothing made sense to him, his only reality was the fast approaching ground he would soon crash down into.

'Keep your eyes open, Light, no use in shutting them to things now. It's far too late for that'

**'L?!'**

Light forced his eyes open and they streamed with tears. L wanted him to see his own demise? He would keep his eyes open then, after all, he owed the man that much. L had seen his own end coming (It will be lonely, won't it?') but had kept his eyes open and carried on all the same.

His body hit the ground with a crash and Light shuddered as he *heard* his bones crack and shatter upon impact. Surprisingly though he felt no pain. Perhaps he was in shock, and the adrenaline was masking the painful effects of the trauma the fall had impacted on his body.

Or maybe this was just a disturbing dream? Who could fall for over a thousand feet and not feel the pain of impact? Who would lay on the ground contemplating what had happened to them with such lucidity?

Or perhaps he was simply dead.

"Hello, Light. Thanks for _dropping_ by"

Light snapped his head up at the drawl greeting. It hurt when he moved but he strained to sit up to fully take in L's crouching form.

"L? Where am I? Am I dead? What's happening?"

L hooked a finger in his mouth and peered at Light intently for a few moments, debating just how much information he should rely to Light at this early stage.

"Well," L finally began "To answer some of your questions: yes, you are dead. And you just experienced the fall into the void. Rather traumatic, isn't it? Can't say I enjoyed the experience much either. As for what's happening, you will find that out later. For now, you need to will yourself away from your body. Just sit up"

Light frowned at L's vague answer and concentrated hard on 'leaving' his body. It worked, he gasped in shock as he sat up and looked down upon his own image crumbling into dust.

"There, you're now officially a spirit, congratulations" L's voice held a tone of the dry sense of humor Light had missed so much.

"I'm dead" Light repeated, casting his eyes around the barren landscape surrounding them. Nothing but rocks, grey sand and the occasional giant bone sticking out from the ground. If this was the afterlife then it was rather bleak and depressing, he thought with a wry sense of amusement.

"Indeed. Who knew Matsuda was such a crack shot? Though I suspect it was Ryuk who put the final nail in your coffin if you'll pardon the expression"

Light glared as L's eyes practically *shimmered* with amusement.

"Laugh it up, L, your white-haired freak of a protege defeated me. Just as you promised he would, but answer me this: why am I standing here talking to you? Ryuk said after using the Death Note I would see neither Heaven nor Hell. I would just disappear."

L scuffed the ground with one bare foot as he toyed with the idea of messing with Light and telling him they were in Heaven...

But no. He should take this situation a little more seriously. He had people relying on him to deliver the justice they craved. L had a job to do, and just as in life he would dedicate himself to his task with as much dedication as he could.

"You are only here because *I* willed you to be. Please don't be so arrogant to assume you've somehow beaten the odds and have triumphed by having an afterlife because that too is entirely my doing"

Light felt an uneasy feeling stirring in his gut. What did L mean by his doing? L didn't have control over his soul or his fate did he?

"Let me explain a few things to you, Light-kun. The place we are currently standing in is the Shinigami Realm. I'm surprised you didn't recognize it, but perhaps Ryuk didn't bother to describe his homeworld to you. Anyway, as your spirit guide and judge, it is entirely up to _me_ to decide your fate. If I believe there is hope for absolution you will be allowed to pass on to the spirit realm with me. However, if I decide you deserve no such mercy I will cast your soul into MU, a place of eternal torment where lost souls just drift around with no purpose. I've been to MU, Light, and let me tell you: it's not a pretty place. I believe your dear Mikami and Takada are there. Mikami's already slipped into insanity..."

Light shuddered as L's words ground deep into his bones. L was the one to judge him. His fate rested in the hands of the man he had killed. The man he loved.

"Don't ask how I managed to strike up this deal because I won't tell you, needless to say, there are many among the dead who supported my claim to be the one to judge you, so I was granted the authority to do so." L picked up a small rock and tossed it up into the air "I suppose if it wasn't for me asking for your soul to be judged you would have just been automatically cast down to MU to join your friends, so feel free to thank me"

Light gritted his teeth. The bastard was enjoying this power trip entirely too much... but then... so had he. He remembered peering down into L's dying eyes with a sharp sense of triumph and exhilaration. He felt his expression soften from one filled with hate to one filled with acceptance.

"Very well, thank you for giving me the opportunity to defend myself and my actions," Light said softly, hoping L would see the sincerity in his eyes.

L shrugged and began to walk away from him. Light stared at his back incredulously before he felt a *pull* and staggered after L.

"Your soul is attached to mine while I judge you, think of it as the chain again if it makes things easier for you. Where I go you must follow" L called back over his shoulder "I should also point out you cannot physically hurt me but I can hurt you if I need to"

Light sighed and trailed after L morosely. Great, an afterlife where L called all the shots and could kick him all he wanted while he couldn't even hit him back. Mu was starting to sound a lot more appealing...

"Keep up Light, Ryuk is waiting for us" L smiled "He's waiting to give you back your Death Note."

Light's eyes widened with shock. What the hell was L playing at? Light saw a group of Shinigami lounging near a stack of bones and narrowed his eyes in annoyance: sat right in the middle of the group was the Shinigami who killed him.

"Weeeelllll hello" Ryuk waved as he spotted L and Light coming towards them "Not often we get visitors here, guys please meet Light-O God of the New World and The Great Detective L!"

L smiled politely and dipped his head in greeting. He even plopped himself onto the ground next to Ryuk and peered at the card game the group of reapers was playing.

Light stopped where he was and stared at the small group incredulously.

"Sorry to intrude on your game, I'm here to collect Light's Death Note," L said smoothly, already holding a hand out.

"HYUK! They *did* agree to let you judge him then? Gotta be honest, Lawliet, I thought they would refuse you"

L smirked at the notion and wiggled his fingers. Ryuk sighed and unclipped the Death Note from his belt and handed it to him.

"I need that back" Ryuk grinned over at Light "Once you've decided what becomes of him"

"Of course. When I am finished I will return it to you before I leave for the spirit realm. I doubt I will have much cause to see you after that"

"Shame, your an interesting guy" Ryuk shrugged "If you ever feel like becoming a Shinigami I could always put a word in with the old man for you...?"

L glanced over to Light and sent him a smug look. Light clenched his fists by his side. Immortality being offered up to L on a fucking silver platter.

"Thanks, Ryuk, but I will decline. I have people waiting for me in the spirit realm" L climbed to his feet and tucked the Death Note into the waistband of his jeans. Safely away from one Light Yagami.

"Can we just get on with this judgment thing this is starting to get irksome" Light snapped as L once more took off, forcing him to stagger after him.

L paused and Light could actually see the anger manifesting itself in the rigid line of L's straightened spine and the set of his shoulders. L slowly turned to Light and the sheer hatred in his usually guarded eyes shook him.

"This ' judgment _thing_ '" L repeated softly, stalking over to Light with all the grace of a big cat "Is that what the threat of eternal damnation is to you? A thing?"

Light held up his hands, hastily trying to backpedal. He had never seen L so angry. The way he spoke, so softly in disdain, made it worse.

"I'm sorry! I could have worded that better..."

"Your arrogance knows no bounds, Light Yagami" L spat. He pulled the Death Note out from his jeans and flicked through it. "But I will remedy that...now, who should we visit first? Ah yes, Miss Kiyomi Takada. I wasn't going to take you straight to Mu but I think after *that* comment you should see your worst case scenario sooner rather than later" L clicked his fingers and a shimmering portal appeared, a mass of swirling purple and blue.

Light found himself stepping back a little in shock. He had clearly underestimated just how much power held in this realm. How much power L held over *him*

"L-"

"Shut *up" L snapped "I am not in the mood to hear any more of Kira-Kun's lies today. Follow me"

Light lurched forward as L stepped through the portal and vanished from sight. If he wasn't dead, he wouldn't believe this was happening. He had no choice but to follow L through the portal...

He felt a sick, twisting feeling like his body was being stretched or pulled in two. He opened his mouth to shout to L but found L standing beside him with a calm expression on his face.

They were standing in a vast white landscape. There was nothing to see. There was nothing at all. Just endless white and fuzzy grey shapes drifting aimlessly.

"Welcome to Mu, or nothingness as it's otherwise known. This is where you will spend all eternity" L pointed to something in the far off distance. Light was so blinded by the white he couldn't see what L was even pointing to.

"Ah, you're not used to it? well, you never get used to it. The white is one of the main reasons souls run mad, you know. Focus and you will see whatever you want to see. A building you were attached to in life, people you once loved... try and touch them however and..."

A terrified shriek pierced the silence.

Light stared in horrified fascination as the grey outline of a man reached towards a small girl. The girl transformed into a black mass and engulfed the man, his shrieks growing in frequency as he found himself trapped in darkness.

"In Mu everything you ever were or loved becomes meaningless. You are left to suffer eternally, knowing every day your wretched existence and pain will continue. Nothing you can do will bring you any joy. The feelings that sustained you when you were alive will slowly eat away at you until you are nothing but a husk. Imagine being fully aware of who you were, who you *are* and being forced to wander around in this white hell for eternity. A mind such as yours, Kira-Kun... it would be especially _torturous_ to someone like you. Insanity would probably a blessing..."

Light shook his head. That couldn't be his fate. He couldn't be trapped to wander for eternity in the desolate white of nothingness. He could not lose his mind. His mind was the only thing he had left.

"Not so cocky now, are you, Kira-Kun" L smiled coldly "Still want me to hurry up and get my ' judgment thing' over and done with?"

Light felt a strangled sob claw it's way from his throat as the spectral image of Kiyomi Takada drifted towards him.

"Kira... Kira... it's you. Have you come to save me? I can't stand this place, please..." her dark eyes widened in realization as she recognized who Light was with. "No! You aren't a god! You can't save me. I'm trapped here forever! I take it all back! I *hate* you, Light Yagami! I HATE YOU!"

Light flung his arms up as he saw Kiyomi lunge at him, her once beautiful face twisted with delusion and malice. Before her blows could land she suddenly went limp, hands falling to her sides. She let out a little giggle as she peered past Light.

"Sister? Is that you? Have you come to help me... I will play with you like I used to!"

L sighed in sympathy as Kiyomi rushed past him and into the clutches of the shadow creature that awaited her. They lurked everywhere in Mu and they were well fed on the despair of the unfortunate souls trapped here. They did not even have to hunt, the lost soul's own desperation lured them into their path.

Kiyomi screamed as she was encased in a dark mass, the comfort she had sought so desperately denied to her as her mind and body were ravaged with pain as the shadow engulfed her whole.

"Once a shadow creature has you in their clutches they will feed off you. It is torture, so I'm told..." L shrugged "They spit you out when they are done and the whole cycle starts again. Ironically, every shadow creature or shade that resides in Mu was once a lost soul like yourself. After such a long time lingering here they turned into the darkest of creatures. They feel nothing but pain and despair over and over just like those they feed on. However..."

L knelt down and Light felt compelled to do the same.

"If you gaze at the ground you will see the river. It isn't a river you see with your eyes but with your mind. Gazing into it for too long will cause irreversible damage. Your friend Teru Mikami can attest to that. He's so pitiful even the shadow creatures don't bother feeding on him anymore. He just spends his eternal life sinking deeper and deeper into madness. He wants to kill himself, you know... but he can't. One cannot kill what is already dead. He has no way out of his suffering and he knows it. Can you imagine his torment?"

L quickly stood up. He did not belong with these damned souls and he would not risk his own sanity by gazing too long into the river. He had stared into the abyss and it had stared back into him just long enough for him to have a taste of the terror and hopelessness Mu's residents endured.

"L... Please, please don't leave me here. I will do anything, anything at all! I can't take back what I've done if I could-"

L laughed softly and shook his head. Finally, progress.

"You won't be left here, Kira, not yet. Right now you are repenting out of self-preservation, not true regret. It's my duty to see if you can truly repent for the evil you committed..." L sighed as if he found the whole ordeal draining. "This is not a place free spirits should linger too long and we still have much to do."

L again summoned a portal and walked through it. He made no remark as tears streamed down Light's face as he followed him through.

Like Light, he had much to think about. He had questions he needed answering, and the place to find those answers was the Mortal Realm.

"Where are we going?" Light whispered as he felt the familiar twisting sensation.

"The Mortal Realm. Sometimes to understand the ending we must go back to the beginning. Your beginning of becoming Kira. Ryuk said he dropped his Death Note at your school and you picked it up. Starting to regret that decision yet?"

Light could only nod miserably.

"I stayed with you... for those six years after I died. I know you felt me, even if you tried to chalk it down to guilt or an over active imagination. I heard you talk to me about how much you missed me. I watched you put flowers on my grave then return to the double life you were living. I know you think you love me, Light, but the problem I have is *believing* you do..." L's voice wavered slightly, betraying the pain he felt as he continued "You do not kill those you love. You protect them. Have you really not considered the reason why I am doing this?"

Light's eyes widened as realization washed over him. L loved him. L loved him that much he was willing to forgive the unforgivable and rescue him from damnation. Light stared into L's sad dark eyes and felt the true weight of his actions crash down upon him.

He did not deserve such a pure and selfless love.

"I'm so sorry... L... I... I do love you. You must _know_ that. My life was miserable without you in it. It was hollow. I was already in Mu when you died!"

L's shoulders slumped a little in response to Light's words.

'This is going to be even harder than I thought, but for his sake and my own, I _must_ see this through. I can't spend eternity without some sense of closure between us. Despite everything he did and the person he became I loved him...and I still do'

"L?" Light reached out a hand to touch L's shoulder but L jerked away from him.

"Don't presume to touch me, Kira" L said, his voice like ice. Light let his hand fall uselessly to his side and felt the first of many hollow pangs of despair.

L may have spared him immediate banishment to Mu out of love for him, but L harbored a hatred for him that was equally as powerful.

What would his future be? An eternity by the side of the one he loved and had wronged so terribly... or an eternity of pain and suffering dealt by the hand of the one who loved him?  



End file.
